Literary Feud

Tommy: I’m glad I caught you because I think we need some help.

me: No, man, things are going ok.

Tommy: Are you driving a Porsche? Because if you’re not driving a Porsche yet, then things are not going OK. OK?

me: Sure Tommy. But things are going OK.

Tommy: OK, but not Porsche OK. And that’s what we’re after here, isn’t it? Porsche OK?

me: Yeah. Absolutely.

Tommy: Good. So long as we’re on the same page. So I was thinking about it and I think we should start a literary feud.

me: Sure. Very good idea.

Tommy: Don’t be a jerk. We cause a big ruckus, people come running to look and then some of ’em stick around to buy a book.

me: Well you got a point there, Tommy that’s for sure. But what who are you gonna start a feud with?

Tommy: Well, it’s gotta be someone who’s still alive, so my number one pick is out.

(I didn’t ask. I didn’t really want to know, to be honest)

me: And number 2?

Tommy: I’m kind of embarrassed to say.

me: So do I have to say anything?

Tommy: You’re right. Let me think about this so more, see if I know anybody who knows this person, we could do a reach out before we start things off.

me: A reach out? You’re talking about a feud.

Tommy: These things don’t just happen. You gotta plan them. I’ll be in touch. Take care.

me: Alright Tommy, see you around.


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